Emotions

Pregnancy creates high emotions and crazy ups and downs. I've been through the full spectrum of emotions since the beginning, which means Roger has had to go through them too. I'm writing this down so that someday when we decide its time to have another baby, I'll have an idea of what to expect...and something to warn Roger with!

I felt...thrilled and disbelief the morning we found out we were pregnant. I also felt miserable. I tested on a Friday morning at 6:00am because I was up with a cold and everything else under the sun. I had been sick since the previous Monday with strep and the good old flu. So I tested when I got up for the third time that night (to get tylenol) - got a pregnant sign - smiled - and basically passed out in bed again.

I felt...in awe the first time we saw our little alien at our first doctor appt. It still felt so surreal. I also felt peace that there was a fast little hummingbird heartbeat. Roger? He was panicked that we were actually having a baby. Thrilled, but a little nervous.

I felt...sorry for Roger my first trimester. I was a total beast! Like PMS around the clock for 5 weeks.

I felt...nervous the first time I couldn't get my pants zipped up. Holy cow was I going to be a boat by the end of this? Yes, this one will have to be answered in July. And don't ask Roger, he always gives the politically correct answer. He told his mom "I don't answer questions like that" the first time she asked if I was starting to look pregnant. Love my husband. He was taught well.

I felt...stunned the first time I felt her kick me. I had been looking for a totally different feeling. I never felt a flutter, a "gas bubble" or anything else. She basically did a small little "tap, tap, tap" one night in bed. And that was it. I was forever changed. I needed to cry, I needed to laugh, I needed a hug, I needed to call my mom....I was scared. This little "dream" inside of me became a reality that night. But once again Roger was my rock. He hugged me, told me we were more than ready for this and once again told me he thought it was a girl. I also felt love for this little creature inside of me. Is it possible to feel that way so early?

I felt...giddy when we found out it was a girl. I had wanted a boy all along, but realized like a ton of bricks that I wanted a girl more than I realized.

Today I feel...happy. I have everything I've ever wanted. Roger is THE BEST THING that has ever happened to me. This little girl is second.

How will I feel when we get to look her in the face? Can't wait to find out!