Open mouth. Put foot in.
So much for that last post. I hate to see the number listed on the title on the caller ID. Got a phone call at 9:30 this morning. I couldn't answer because I was pumping, my favorite thing ever. Then Roger's phone started ringing. I instantly knew something was wrong. The hospital never calls that early, or both phones.
Brooklyn is septic. What is that? It's an infection, causing her body to start functioning - how should I say this - crappy. No idea where the infection is yet. After lots of pokes, a catheter for a urine sample, a blood transfusion and an attempt at a spinal tap, we are waiting for the results.
She is on actual oxygen for the first time in her little life. She's also back on high flow - 5 liters! She's held her breath multiple times in the last 18 hours - some requiring bagging. At this rate, she is headed back for the ventilator. Her blood pressure is low, she is mottled, she is lethargic. A nurse's worst nightmare. A parent's worst fear. Well one of them.
Crap. Crap. Crap.
My chest hurts tonight. My eyes sting and my nose is raw. I feel like I can't get a full breath from the stress she is causing us today. I need to wrap my poor heart and lungs in something to hold me together. My milk supply is down to nothing.
Oh the power of prayer. And fasting. And priesthood blessings. Roger gave her a blessing, how we need these things to work in her favor! I cannot, absolutely cannot, handle this anymore!! I am broken.
One small hope? That all of this may be from stopping her Theofolin medication Thursday afternoon. Maybe she needs that extra little help to breathe. I hope its as simple to fix as that.
Please pray for her tonight. Our own private hell has been watching her suffer today.
8 comments:
my heart is hurting for you.
she AND both of you will be in our prayers.
hang in there!
I'm soooo sorry! Our prayers will be with you! Please let us know if we can do anything else!
Oh Ash I am so sorry to hear this. Reading this post brings tears to my eyes. You will be in our prayers at the Newman house tonight.
Ashlee, I'm soooo sorry to hear the news. Steve and I will keep your little family in our prayers. And don't stress about your milk supply... mine dipped down for about 2 weeks at one point, but suddenly came back... it can really fluctuate quite a bit. I'll pray for your little peanut :)
We will be praying for her! I'm so sorry!
Tears in my eyes today after reading this! I hate sepsis! I also hated getting report and hearing the nurse say, "I think she is going septic." GREAT, I always thought! Can't imagine what it would feel like if it was my child! I am thinking of you. :)
I am so sorry to hear the news! Hopefully it will be an easy fix and she will be back to her perky self soon. Your family is definitely in our thoughts and prayers! Love you guys!
Aslee, I am so sorry to hear this! We will be praying for you all!
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